Can you have herpes but never even know it? And how do you navigate the maze of sex and dating when you know you are infected with herpes? Those are among the questions recently posed by readers of the Consults blog. Here, Dr. Peter A. Leone, associate professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine and Public Health, provides advice about symptom-free herpes, telling your partner you have herpes and more. I wish this article would mention that it is possible to have herpes but never suffer any symptoms, and to discuss for what percentages of those infected for whom this is true. B, New York City.
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A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He’d been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: when asked whether I’d consider dating someone with herpes, I’d responded no. It wasn’t some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes.
According to a recent report by the World Health Organization, 2 out of 3 people younger than 50 years old have Herpes Simplex Virus 1, or HSV-1, which is more commonly known as oral herpes. So if the headline above seemed shocking or offensive to you, we need to have a little chat. This used to be pretty much true. In the past, most of the people who had HSV-1 got it as children, via dry smooches from infected aunties and the like. But as people gained awareness of the contagious nature of cold sores, they became more cautious about exposing young children to a skin outbreak.
That means more and more of us get to adulthood without any HSV immunity. On the other hand, it means that more and more people get their first exposure to HSV-1 not through kissing, but through oral sex. So considerate young lovers with HSV-1 can unwittingly spread genital herpes. Meanwhile, another million folks in the same age group have HSV-2 itself. One study of New York City from suggests that urban rates may be much higher: That survey found that more than 25 percent of the people they tested had HSV-2, with especially high rates for women 36 percent and non-Hispanic black women 80 percent.
So even sex with a condom can spread herpes, though condom use does cut risk significantly. Once herpes infects a new host, it travels along nerve cells to live dormant in their roots. Most people with HSV never have any symptoms. Unfortunately, the shedding of viral cells — and therefore the transmission of the disease to others — is possible even without symptoms.
Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?
Date risk is most with for mothers who are having their first ever have dating genital herpes near to or during delivery. As with any drug therapies, oral antiviral tablets are not routinely recommended for use during pregnancy. Aciclovir has been used for treating genital herpes for over 15 years and as with date drug, a register has have kept to report any adverse side effects for should who have taken it during pregnancy. To date there have been no adverse side effects reported for either the baby or the mother.
Due to the potential seriousness of a primary simplex of genital herpes for the baby and the relative safety of Aciclovir, it is now recommended that Aciclovir is used for treating a first episode of genital herpes or severe recurrent herpes in the last simplex of pregnancy. It is believed that the benefit of using Herpes, by reducing the risk of transmission of herpes to the baby, outweighs the risk of not using it.
The goals of counseling include 1) helping patients cope with the infection and to disclose their herpes status when they first begin dating someone, but wait.
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23 Women Reveal How They Tell A New Sexual Partner They Have Herpes
This AskMe question is still reasonably current posted by Blasdelb at You’ve described herpes stigmatization as ‘ unjust ‘. Of course, you really, really, really don’t want to face this stigma yourself. I doubt she did either.
Learn more about dating with herpes. “There are so many lawsuits of people suing someone else for giving them herpes,” says Warren, also the Genital herpes that come from HSV-1 are typically passed through oral.
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Living (and dating) with herpes
Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not he truly knew this woman in the first place. Why on Earth would I knowingly choose to put myself in danger like that? Is she worth it?
Sites like Positive Singles and MPWH (that’s “Meet People With Herpes”) offered herpes, and HSV-1 (formerly known as “oral herpes”) above HSV-2 (formerly “I have found even people who [say they won’t date someone with herpes].
Last Updated: August 4, References. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 51, times. Learn more It’s likely that you will date someone with herpes at some point in your life.
If you’re worried about getting infected, you can take some simple precautions to lower your chances, such as avoiding contact with cold sores. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker. Log in Facebook. No account yet?
Dating someone with hsv 1
It took years for Davis, founder of The STD Project , which encourages awareness and acceptance of various sexually transmitted diseases, and spokesperson for Positive Singles , a dating site for people with STDs, to come to terms with the diagnosis she got at age When she was diagnosed with herpes almost three years ago, Whitney Carlson, 29, a social media editor in Chicago, had a similar reaction. The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals.
Around two-thirds of people worldwide under age 50 have herpes simplex 1, according to the World Health Organization , and around one in every six Americans between ages 14 and 49 has genital herpes, usually caused by herpes simplex 2, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Discover all the facts on genital herpes (HSV-2), facial herpes (HSV-1) and relationships including sexual partners, children, babies and during pregnancy.
HSV-1 is the herpes virus associated with oral herpes, such as cold sores and fever blisters on or around the mouth, but HSV-2 refers to genital herpes. However, you can get either strain of the virus on other parts of your body. You can have either type without exhibiting any symptoms, yet still pass it on to other people via genital secretions or skin to skin contact, which makes herpes a prevalent STI.
But for some, the stigma around herpes can be worse than any of the actual symptoms. While practicing safe sex is crucial, condoms are not foolproof methods condoms can break , the virus can be on skin around the genital area, people may not know they have it, etc. All in all, it comes down to getting tested and being honest with your partner about your STI status. However, revealing their herpes status is understandably a challenge for some people more than others.
Of course, telling your sexual partner that you have herpes will be different for everybody. In fact, Laureen HD, 31, has a YouTube channel dedicated to helping people cope with herpes and its stigma. In one case in particular, that heartfelt moment and mutual respect even boosted the connection we felt toward each other.
4 Questions You Probably Have About Dating With Herpes
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Dating a woman with herpes
Dating with herpes can be a challenging experience. However, the information provided below is relevant regardless of your herpes infection type. This means that if you contract HSV-1 or HSV-2, the virus will remain in your body for the rest of your life, or until a cure is discovered. Finding this out can be devastating news, especially from the perspective of your dating and romantic life.
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The herpes virus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world. According to the World Health Organisation, two out of three people under the age of 50 are infected. Oh, and once you have it, you have it for life. Since being diagnosed with genital herpes in , she has dedicated her life to breaking down the stigma around herpes and providing resources for people struggling to come to terms with their condition.
She told Metro. We put so much pressure on ourselves and all of our insecurities are pushed to the surface when it comes to dating. The fear of telling someone or the rejection was so strong. Once I got over that hurdle, then I was ready to begin dating. It was very hard to tell a guy I liked that I had herpes, hoping that they would still want to date me. If I get an outbreak I know how to treat it and help the outbreak heal as fast as possible.
Herpes is split into the HSV-1 virus, also known as herpes simplex or oral herpes, that causes cold sores and mouth ulcers, and HSV-2, the genital herpes virus characterised by painful red blisters around the genital region. Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes. Is it possible to successfully date and have relationships even though you have an incurable STI?
Alexandra definitely thinks so.